Time keeps going…faster and faster

In case you missed it, it is November! November! Just let that set in for a minute.

We are almost done with the semester…which means I am a month away from my comprehensives. I think. I have been working on a “one-pager” on what I want my dissertation to be on…and when I say working I mean I have presented about twenty versions, each one considering the comments made by one or more of my three comps committee professors. The best I can say is that my focus is getting sharper and I am considering my thought from many different directions. But it just isn’t there yet. I think I am making it more complicated than I should. And I have to get it right before I get my comps questions. And December is looming…

I have started writing something every day. In preparation for the major amount of writing facing me next month. I shoot for at least 15 minutes (and yes, this is counting) but I am finding that the more I do it, the longer I seem to be writing. But there are the many assignments I have to write for my classes, so that could be part of it. Both of my classes have the majority of assignments due now in the second half of the semester, so it has been busy, to say the least.

An interesting tool that I have happened upon is an app called Hours. It is a time tracking app and it is pretty interesting and helpful. It is allowing me to see when I work on what and also it is helping me see what I am neglecting and what I spend too much time on. This is helpful because I can see where my time is spent and when I have a blank area, it makes me think back on what was I doing and could I have been working on something more productive. And for me, that is valuable…very valuable. If you are motivated by data, this is the app for you!

You create your unique tasks and then track away. It takes a minute to set up your tasks and you will think of new ones as you go. I decided I was going to track my “work” as well as my “household work” which has been useful. I realize that I spend more time “working” than I had thought partially because I never really counted reading as work. But it is! I read for homework, I read for research, I read for the class I teach, and that is all WORK! And boy do I spend a lot of time reading! It is amazing that anything is sticking long enough to use the information in any meaningful way. Sometimes I feel like as I am putting things in the front of my brain, and other things are falling out the back! This has only made my conviction that having an education makes you realize how much you don’t know. There is so much information…so much…and it is growing every day, hour, minute and second!

AHHHHHH…it is best that I don’t think about that too long. It becomes really overwhelming and makes me wonder if there is anything out there that hasn’t been done and if there is anything that I can add something meaningful to for my current and future work…Like I said let’s not dwell on that!

So I am heading back into my one-pager…it is like practicing any skill…you do it, get feedback, edit and try again. Ready, set…go!

Here we go!

Today is the last day of summer break. And this summer I really did take a break…I only took the required three hours (and that was my writing camp that was only two weeks long). Though I did still work. I worked on my research for my possible dissertation topic, I wrote a couple of proposals, and I worked with my data and set up to further my PST (pre-service teacher) research.

But I also relaxed. I went to my Mom’s for a week to spend time with her and my grandparents. She came to me so we could visit here too. I read fun books ( the Dorthy Must Die Series is a new favorite). I found yoga again and realized why I like it so much. I feel so grounded and stable when I maintain a practice. I found Yoga with Adriene on YouTube and now am signed up for her “members only” site of videos, so I will continue my practice during the semester and onward. I started some new rituals…like taking an Epsom salt bath before bed (this was spurred by the sore muscles from working out, but I remember now how relaxing it is now). I also was bored. Really, really bored. But sometimes it is good to be bored. And I hadn’t been bored in a really long time.

My goal for this semester is to complete my comprehensives and maintain a balance in my life. I am taking two classes and teaching CLT again. I do have a new teaching mate for CLT but I know her and I know we will work well together. I am planning on continuing my yoga practice and continuing to walk my dogs daily, which will be even more important to them because they won’t be running around the house as much with me gone for teaching. I also will continue working on my one pager (or elevator talk) for my topic for my dissertation. It will need to be virtually complete before my comps.

I am now the “senior” graduate student in my program as my friend received her Ph.D. and has moved to Texas to teach. So I am the one who will have to answer the questions of my friends and fellow grad students. In some ways, I feel I am ready for that, in other ways I still feel like I don’t know what I am doing so how am I supposed to help others! But no matter, here we go!

Teaching Writing

For the last two weeks, I have been a writing teacher. Yes, I, who teaches science, was a writing teacher. And I don’t think I did too bad. I think my students learned as much as I did. First, I am not an English/writing teacher, but I do read books and I do write (see this here blog!). I never really doubted that I could teach writing, I knew I would have a great group of writing teachers backing me up, and I did. A really great group of teachers and one GREAT co-teacher.

I had to get used to a co-teach that taught. My “co-teachers” before were really more there to encourage students to do as I wanted, but not so much on the “I’ll take over and teach the class”. So this was an all-around different experience, new topic and a co-teacher who took over the class. The students were great. Not many of them, but the ones who did show up grew leaps and bounds in their writing. I was very proud of them.

Now it is time to look forward. To the Dissertation. I have a topic, now I just have to convince my advisor that is the right topic. And start writing…with all the new skills I have learned as a writing teacher!

 

From the Fire

From the fire,

I emerge,

molten and malleable.

Your breath gives me shape and form.

I grow,

shift and change

as you spin me round and round.

Stretching toward the light,

higher still

to glory,

and change,

to fill the world with beauty and purpose.

But just like gravity,

you keep me grounded,

feet firmly planted

while I reach for the stars.

Fire, Breath, Light, Gravity.

You give me life and meaning.

This is a poem I wrote at a writing retreat at Crystal Bridges American Museum of Art. They currently have a Chihuly exhibit and it inspired me to write this when I read the brochure that said: “Chihuly sees glass art as an art form of fire, breath, light and gravity.” I know that I am usually reflecting on my teaching and other educational work here…but I felt I wanted this to be out in the world. And writing is educational, even when you are a science teacher.

Thoughts at the Midpoint

Well, I have made it halfway. Two years down, two years to go. As I think back over the last two years, I think about how much I have learned and how I have grown as a teacher, scholar, and person. In such a short time, I have gained so much, as well as whittled away to the core of my teaching philosophy and theory. I have been through the fire of doctoral education and emerged a stronger teacher and a budding scholar. I have explored topics and found theory and philosophy to still be my favored subjects. Next fall, I will take my comprehensives and become a doctoral candidate and begin the marathon of writing my dissertation.

There are many topics I could pursue in my research, though I do know for sure I want to further explore sociocultural and critical theories in my research. These two theories, of which I have only been able to brush the surface so far, are the ones that resonate the most with my teaching style, goals and personal philosophy. I believe that learning is socially constructed rather than built in the mind of a singular learner. I think that education must have relevance and bring equality to our students. It should lift those that are downtrodden and further expand the world for all students.

I have reanalyzed a lot of my positions in this time; educational as well as political and religious. I have done a lot of thinking, reasoning, talking and reading as I have refined my thoughts in all areas. I have realized just how much is out there and that I will never know it all. Though that is not going to stop me from continuing to explore and refine my thoughts.

As for my dissertation, I am thinking of focusing on dialogic teaching in the science classroom. I think that talk is a key piece that is missing in the classroom. Student talk that is. As it stands right now, the one doing the most talking is the teacher and therefore the teacher is gaining more understanding of the subject. But that is wrong, the teacher has already learned these things and it is the students that need to be discussing and refining their knowledge of the topic. The student should be talking and reasoning, as well as reading and writing like a scientist.

In my two years, I have realized just how much I believe in the need for science teachers to be literacy teachers (or at least work closely with a literacy coach) as well as a master of content. I understand that I am asking a lot of science teachers. I would ask the same of math and history teachers as well. If our students are not reading and writing in our subject, they will never be able to communicate or understand the workings of science (or history or math). In today’s world and political climate, it is more important than ever that we teach our students to be thinkers, seekers of knowledge and understanding, curious and open-minded.

Our president has just taken us out of the Paris Climate Accord, confirming his position as a climate change denier. Why do I mention this in a reflection on my time in graduate school? Well, as a science educator I see and understand the trouble we are passing to our children. We are handing them a broken world. One that will soon fail to support our life. And Trump has only further hindered our ability to make the necessary changes to delay the downfall of the earth. His and his core supporters’ shortsightedness is going to cause damage. The only hope I am holding on to is the corporations that have said they will do what needs to be done, whether or not the country is in the climate agreement.

As an educator, the rise of this type of thinking and the high coverage of “alternative facts” is disturbing. People making up their own “facts” and ignoring the real and proven ones is disconcerting, to say the least. In the 10 years I have been teaching, it has been my goal to teach my students to question and seek the best answers rather than blindly follow the leader. In today’s world, I see the results of a lack of inquiry and curiosity in the education of the past and hope that it is not too late to stem the tide of blind faith or beliefs that are currently dragging our society down.

I do believe that this wound can be bound and healed. But it is going to take the dedicated effort of our leaders and our teachers to stop the bleed. What does all of this mean to me and my studies? It adds an urgency to my work. My goal to teach teachers how to teach science better is more pressing. Time runs short. I must push to improve, myself and the world. Now is the time to take the strategies and techniques that I have honed in my own practice and pass them on to teachers and future teachers so I can influence as many students as possible. Help stop the bleed. Help move our world in the right direction. As a classroom teacher, I got somewhere around 120-150 students each year, but if I teach 10 new teachers best practices, that is 1200-1500 students I will have reached each year.

This is both a gratifying, yet a terrifying idea which drives me to do my very best in everything I do. To live the life of a teacher in constant search for the best way to reach my students so they may find the best way to reach theirs. That is my motivation, the thought of all those students who need the very best teacher that will believe in them and challenge them, push them to greatness, so our future will not be defined by the bad decisions of today. Rather the future will be informed by a generation that will respect the history of our world yet push for a better future for this world.

So that is where I stand in the middle. Halfway through, already affecting future teachers through my work as a supervisor of a new generation of teachers, striving to be the best mentor that I can be. And at the same time, searching. Searching for understanding, searching for the next opportunity, searching for the best me, so that I may improve the world in my own small way. Leaving this place better than I found it.

So I am almost in the middle…

Well, here I sit, almost at the end of the spring semester, the end of which will denote the midway point (hopefully) of my Ph.D. journey. So I look back and forward at the same time…looking back I see that I am on the right path. Everything seems to be falling into place which gives me hope for the future. I am already living my dream of teaching teachers (future and current) how to teach science better. I am doing that through my work with the MAT science student teachers. Looking forward, I have many possible paths to follow when it comes to my dissertation, though I have one that I really like…but now have to convince my advisor that it is a good topic. I am organizing my life around being a better person (i.e. meditation, yoga, and exercise) so I will not be a husk of a person when I finish. And while I have multiple papers that I should be writing now, I feel like I am on track and growing into who I am supposed to be.

Now whether I feel this way  in two weeks? That is yet to be seen!

The Middle of Year 2: Supervisor of Student Teachers

Well, I have made it through the first half of the year. I had a great fall semester. The class I taught went excellently and I already know that I will be teaching it again in the Fall next school year. My classes went well, I learned a lot and wrote a lot. So now I am trying to refine some of what I have done to turn them into some possible publications. I had my first proposal for a chapter in an edited volume be accepted! So I have been working on getting that chapter written. Luckily it needs to be in my authentic teacher voice, so I am being able to “just” write it…though I have done a ton of research for it as well. And over the winter break, I presented for the first time at ASTE conference.

Now for this semester, I am supervising 10 excellent and amazing secondary science student teachers. We all happen to be taking a class together too. At first I thought that might be awkward but so far so good. The real “supervising” has not started quite yet. But in a couple of weeks, I will be in five different schools and doing ten informal evaluations using the new TESS standards. This is so my students will be assessed in the same way they will be assessed in the future if the stay in Arkansas to teach.

Interesting note: The TESS system is based on Charlotte Danielson Framework. And did you know that no one really knows who Charlotte is? Seriously, do a Goggle search on good old Charlotte and some of the first stuff to come up are articles questioning her existence. My professor finds this highly funny and suspicious. Who is she and why should we be evaluating our teachers based on her framework?

For classes, I am “only” taking three. This is due to the fact that supervising 10 student teachers is actually considered as teaching two classes…so really I’m still at five classes. But my schedule does seem to be a little more open, I am guessing this is because of the lack of classes being “taught” though I do meet with my STs every other week. But I meet them after our class together…so no special trip to just teach.

As to the focus that I wanted to seek this year…I have not achieved that yet. I have just as many ideas and a few more that I have added. The chapter I am writing is about ADHD in the classroom and I have found there is a lack of studies in some specific areas of the subject. I have a proposal about Dialectical Teaching in Science…and there are many options to move forward with that. I am now in another theory class (this one is on Piaget) and that will add to the possibilities as I seek out information for a project in that class.

And all these ideas require reading! Man, I thought I read a lot before I started this PhD…I read more now. I am constantly reading something, usually an article or a book for school. But I understand the need for balance so I am also reading A Dog’s Purpose and Seven Brief Lessons on Physics. And surprise of all surprises, my eye sight has not changed so apparently lots of reading of many sizes and fonts did not do harm to my eyes. Did not improve it, but did not change it.

Speaking of reading, I have a few chapters and articles to read so I should probably wrap this up. I will keep seeking more focus. I hope to guide ten student teachers to be ten new first year teachers. And I hope to maintain my current momentum in my classwork. So here’s to a great Spring 2017!

Year Two Begins…

I am starting my second year as a PhD graduate student. My classes are scheduled, my binders are lined in an organized and labeled row on the book shelf that is close to my desk, my thoughts need to be organized now. So here I am.

I am teaching Classroom Learning Theory again which is awesome! I have my plans from last year which have been completely changed for the new year, but this time I had something to work from. That is what I do, I take the plans from before and rearrange them for the next class, hopefully making it better. I also have two other professors (one GA like me and one Dr.) teaching with me and they are science people too! So we are already connected and thus can work directly on the plans rather than learning each other’s strengths and weaknesses.

So what I am doing the last Saturday of the summer…I am pre-reading class books, I am searching for activities that might improve the first class (a plan that I have rewritten about 20 times), I am organizing my thoughts and notebooks. I am looking forward to meeting my students, wondering what they will be like. Will they get along? Will they have the rich discussions I plan? Will they like me?

Yes, I know that last one seems silly. But if they don’t like me then it will be very difficult to lead their learning in the way I hope. So will they like me is important to me, not for the “popularity” reasons but for academic reasons. When you don’t like a professor, you probably aren’t going to comply easily to their requests. Or at least that is what happens to me as a student.

As a student this year I hope to narrow and focus my ideas. I have so many topics that seem interesting and so much to read and explore. But I am going to have to write a dissertation in a couple of years, and would like for it to be more than an interesting literature review. I wrote a paper for my class over the summer about combining some teaching techniques to improve science teaching, and my professor said I might be onto something, so maybe I will explore that a bit more?

I am taking another theory class. The last one about many theories, kind of a history of theories. This one is just Vygotsky so I am looking forward to exploring socio-cultural ideas. I am also taking a class about how to be a professor, one about how to write a grant and then my Advanced Science Teaching Methods class. Yes you counted correctly, that is four classes besides the one I am teaching. Full schedule. But I am so excited to continue my learning.

So year two begins…I will be busy, but I will love every nerve-wrecking moment of it! Year two here I come!!!

Frontiers I’ve yet to travel

This week I spent my time in Baltimore at the NARST (National Association for Research in Science Teaching) conference. I have had some great conversations and I have listened to a lot of research ideas, research projects, research perspectives.

I am almost at the end of my first year of my PhD. And there is so much more I want to know and at this point I still think I can find all that information. I have heard many topics that are intriguing, but not quite my thing. But then again I haven’t developed “my thing” yet. I know it will involve something of the history and philosophy and nature of science and science education.

How am I going to make a difference in science education? How am I going to link the researchers to the practitioners? How can what I do in my PhD work change the teaching of science in elementary, secondary and collegial teaching? I do not want to “just do research” I want it to have an impact on the students that I can no longer directly teach. I leave on an early flight tomorrow so I am missing the last day of NARST, but the part I have attended has shown me that we (the science educators) need to have interactions with the science teacher at the elementary and secondary level. We must make systemic changes. And I want to be a part of that!

I left the classroom with the belief that I could make a bigger difference teaching the teachers that would take over the classes I was no longer there to teach. I’m not quite there yet. But that is still my goal. I want to teach teachers how to teach science most effectively. I want to produce science wisdom and literacy in all the students that my students touch. I don’t want my impact to lessen because I am a graduate assistant. I  want to make the difference now and forever. Our world, students, need to understand science or at least think critically about the world around them. And science can teach them that.

I don’t know all of science. But I do know how to look at evidence and make an informed decisions and I am afraid that is not a trait that our current students (k-12) are learning. And that needs to change. I heard a presentation today about science wisdom…that we need that more than literacy. And I am inclined to agree…wisdom is the answer. We need more wisdom in this world, in politics, in sciences, in humanities, everywhere. I hope we are capable of achieving them.

New Pathways to Achieve Better Teaching for All Students

So last week I started a new journey in teaching. I have moved up to the college level. I am a full time graduate assistant and doctoral student. I am teaching an undergraduate class called Classroom Learning Theory (CLT), taking three classes of my own (Qualitative Research, Stats and Intro to Educational Media) and I am TAing a Masters level Research Methods class. It is a busy schedule but I like it. I have been at it for just over a week now. My CLT class is going great. I really feel that I am making an impact on the future teachers my students will be.

I am learning new things about myself too. Like my philosophies in life are not exactly what I thought they would be. I still rely on science but I am more postmodern in my views when it comes to research, I find that there has to be a collaboration between the researcher, participants and data to come to valuable conclusions, which isn’t very “scientific” at all. “Scientific” usually requires that biases and other viewpoints be eliminated rather than embraced. Also, I am a constructivist in my teaching but not so much a social constructivist. I firmly believe that there are multiple perspectives which is why I embrace constuctivism in my teaching, every one of my students’ views are valuable and can add to the collective learning experience. Apparently I value the perspectives of my participants in my research too.

Honestly I have never thought about it until tonight really. But I think it is impossible to eliminate all biases and different perspectives and since they can’t be eliminated they must be acknowledged and accounted for. So as I embark on the journey to helping improve teaching for all students, I find myself reflecting on everything I have done so far. How I have ran my classroom for the last eight years, the research I have done in pursuing my Master’s, why I made my decision to even start this journey.

I want to teach future teachers and current teachers how to teach science better. That is going to require my science knowledge and studies, but it will also require me to look qualitatively look at the practice of teaching. Because what good is knowledge if it can’t be delivered understandably to others? So this journey will require all my skills to understand and relay information, quality information, to the next generation of science teachers.

Later days,
Ms. O